a glimpse of riuu

I have failed you my child - or better yet, I have failed myself and what I believe in. I think I hold the banner of those who have been trampled upon by the bias concept of this genitalia-ruled society. Yet, I have been a hypocrite. I have become my own monster - my disappointment mirrors my views of my own sex. I am not worthy to be called a woman. For even as I bear you now and celebrate womanhood in its peak, I have shunned the idea that we, in your future life, are the same.

my sister had already given birth to a baby boy... so have a close friend of mine...also my officemate...all of them have baby boys now...

so, when my boyfriend and i went to have an ultrasound of our baby, both of us were also hoping to have our own son...so when the doctor announced that it was a girl both of us were pretty shaken...

i realized, as much as woman-oriented as i am, i was also actually hoping for a boy. i was thinking (half consciously and half-unconsciously) that raising a boy would be easier and boys have easier lives than girls...

i know i know i know...it's a slap to my feminist nature...but what can i do...it is the parental instinct that is already talking here...

well, anyway, here it is...

i can hardly make out what the picture looks like but hell, a pic is a pic is a pic - well, for this case, an ultrasound is an ultrasound is an ultrasound...

welcome baby...i am not disappointed that you are a girl...i'm just scared...for you and for me...i may not become the best model for you...